[Insert Title Here]

2010-06-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Dear stranger,

I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday and decided that I want to learn French this summer, so I wandered over to the language section and picked up a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Learning French. I figure, if an idiot can do it, it shouldn't be too hard for me, right? Although it probably isn't a good idea to try to learn two new languages simultaneously, I think I'll be okay. I do have Chinese homework for the summer, but it's only copying out all of the lessons that we already went over last semester, so it's not that bad. All it really is is vocabulary expansion; my grammar is already pretty solid. I was one of the best in the class when it came to that.

Speaking of school, I need to get my financial aid in order. My last semester still isn't paid off, so technically I'm not even enrolled for the fall semester yet. And because I'm not registered, it also means that I don't have housing. So I'm probably going to be stuck with some freshman or something. But whatever. I'm not really difficult to live with. As long as you give me my space and stay out of my hair, I can get along with basically anyone.

Also while I was at Barnes & Noble, I found this book called Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood that's actually what the new Zac Efron movie is based on. I finished it today; it wasn't too bad. It was a little bit too fantastical for me though. It wasn't bad, but I don't think I'd read it again. I'm probably going to go back to Barnes & Noble to return it. I had the an iced White Chocolate Mocha with extra caramel from the Starbucks there and let me tell you; that shit was soooo good. But of course, all the sugar made me feel a bit sick, and I was bloated from all that milk. That's definitely getting added to my list of guilty pleasures.

My friend is coming back tomorrow from school halfway across the country (literally) and he invited me to his basketball game. Chances are high that I'll go, but I just hope it doesn't rain. I like going and hanging out, since I don't really go there often. And I haven't seen him since New Years; he had to leave right after for basketball season back at school. Funny thing is, although it's been about 6 months since I've seen him last, I'm okay with that. I don't know if I could've lasted any longer than this, but on the flipside I'm not one to really miss people that much. I don't need to see you or even talk to you every day to maintain a strong relationship with you. My mother gave birth to me, raised me and pays all of my bills, and I only talk to her on the phone for 5 minutes once a week, with occasional BBM's in between.

But anyway, I feel like I'm talking your ear off. I'll check in tomorrow after the game if I don't get in too late, or otherwise I'll just talk to you when I'm at work dying of boredom. (Kind of like I am now)

Sincerely,
Bia

Ice Cold

2010-04-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

This weather has put me in a mood, and watching this video so much today has made me realize how much I love the video edit of this song. Pure genius. I was looking all over for an mp3 of this, and finally found it, thanks to one of my Twitter followers. There are no words for how happy this made me.

KANYE WEST "Coldest Winter" Directed by: NABIL from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

(P.S. In a perfect world, artists would automatically have orchestral/live versions of every single song that they record. And Keri Hilson would go back to being a name in an album credit and not a face on a cover. But that's just my opinion.)

100% Perfect Girl

2010-04-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

I read this and it made me so sad; almost as if I had met my 100% perfect boy in a past life & lost him.

And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.

2010-04-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

It's people like him, playing songs like this, that make me want to learn piano.

P.S. His name is David Sides. You can find him on Youtube here.

2010-03-25T09:33:00.001-07:00

2010-03-21T20:14:00.001-07:00

Sorry ladies, but it ain't nothin' like a smart bitch

2010-03-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

.....I always fall for your type...

YSL x Net-A-Porter Tribute Suede Sandals

2010-03-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

I swear to god, I think my jaw is broken from hitting the damn floor so fucking hard. Words wouldn't even do these justice, so I'll just let you know where you can order them (if they're not sold out) & leave it at that. Order Here

2010-03-06T10:52:00.000-08:00

If someone says:
"That's impossible."

You should understand it as:
"According to my very limited experience and narrow understanding of reality, that's very unlikely."

Smart Guy

2010-03-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

Diggy Simmons is one smart ass kid. He's noting the mistakes of his older siblings & making sure not to repeat them himself.

Exhibit A: It's 2007, and Vanessa & Angela came out with their own sneaker line, Pastry. Not tryna hate or anything, but when Pastry's first came out, I swore that they were the corniest sneakers I'd ever seen. Now, they're actually looking nice, but those first couple pairs were definitely trial and error. Fast forward to 2010, and Diggy is debuting his sneaker line, Chivalrous Culture, & I swear, I'd cop them right now if I could.

Via: SoJones

Exhibit B: Jojo Simmons tries his hand at rapping, and saying he's wack would have been putting it lightly. Add that to being busted for weed, and he was the straight embarrassment of the Simmons family. Diggy decides that it's his turn to rap, drops the First Flight mixtape, and I swear, he embarrassed grown ass men tryna rap. Lil dude actually has a nice flow & delivery, and I genuinely enjoy listening to him. One-upped his brother? I think so.

With all this greatness preceding him, all I wanna know now is what Russy has hiding up his sleevees.

P.S. Here's the link for Diggy's blog, in case you guys wanted to check it out.

2010-03-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

via Upper Playground

Conditioning

2010-03-03T06:55:00.001-08:00

My psych prof showed us this video yesterday as an example of how animals can be taught (conditioned) to perform a complex series of tasks in order to get a reward. (Don't worry, he rewards the mouse afterwards) I thought this video was amazing/adorable (possibly because of the music), so I decided to share it with you guys.

You're such an asshole

2010-03-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

It turns out that I'm not the only college-age person with an extremely inflated opinion of themselves. Here's a blog post via my friend Marcus, who, like me, has absolutely no problems telling people that A. they're idiots, because we say so, & B. I'm an asshole, and if you don't like it, too fucking bad.

Making of An Asshole by Marcus

How does one become an asshole? It's easy. You see the world around you and decide that it sucks. The way people act sucks. The popular shit sucks. Definitions of success and victory suck. You basically decide that life sucks and make a joke about it, hurting everyone you come across because they're sucked into the biggest joke life has to offer, life itself. On top of this epiphany (and it does come to you like an epiphany) you realize that you are in an elite class of humans who get the joke. We spend our entire lives trying to explain the joke but naivety, pride, and flat out ignorance are tiresome obstacles, and we would much rather mock others' stupidity than usher them into our exclusive class of greatness. I am only getting started with what should go down as the greatest philosophical blog post ever, but I have more fun things to do, so I'll take my first break. Au revoir

via Marcus' Blog, Kick Babies

Hollaback Girl

2010-03-02T11:22:00.001-08:00

I love Gwen Stefani. She can literally wear boys' clothes and make it look glamorous

Brit Checks

2010-03-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

Damn you Burberry........damn you...
If Uggs made ridiculously amazing heeled boots, this is what they would look like.

via High Snobette

Lust

2010-02-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

For some reason, despite the fact that I'm in college, it seems like the people in my classes are getting progressively dumber. So the other while everyone in my stat class was asking dumb questions about the exam that they failed, I was carousing my favorite site, Karmaloop, and found these nice little goodies that have officially been added to my lust list.

First off are these beauties by Jeffrey Campbell. These were a Karmaloop exclusive & were on pre-order, & I couldn't help but order them on the spot (I love having shit no one else does. And speaking of which, they should be shipping soon!! So excited!!)

Next is this leather backpack by Obey. I want a leather backpack sooo badly & nearly drooled on my laptop when I saw this one. Too bad it's $126, which is more than my broke college student budget can handle right now (considering the fact that I spent $150 on those damn Jeffrey Campbell shoes).

And I'm gonna have to wait a while for the backpack, because I just bought my mom a new iPod to replace her old one. The stupid batteries on all those old ones start going on the fritz after a while, so she needed a replacement. I ended up getting her a new one because I knew that she would never get it for herself, so now I'm $300 broke-er. Talk about sacrifice. But it's my mom, so I don't mind being broke for a while to get her something nice.

(P.S. Just thought I'd mention how long I was lusting for this hoodie, but wasn't beat to pay $160 for a hoodie, so I told myself that I'd wait until A. the price went down & B. my stash got up enough to get it. Fast forward 3 months, Vanessa Hudgens is photographed wearing it, it suddenly becomes the 'it' thing according to all the blog sites, and the hoodie is now sold out everywhere -_- fml)

Told Yall....

2009-12-20T18:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, I just wanna start off with an 'I told you so' for everyone who said that this record wasn't good enough to be a single. In yo face suckaaasss!!!

Now that I got that outta my system, I love this record & I love the two of these guys together. And Justin Timberlake is also my favorite white boy ever, partly because he's a good writer and partly because he can beatbox and actually make it sound good. So without further ado, here's the teaser for Timbaland & Justin Timberlake - Carry Out, off of Timbaland's 'Shock Value 2'.

The Kid Named Cudder

2009-12-10T19:38:00.000-08:00

Before I show you guys the video, let me just say that this was my favorite song from Man On the Moon so I was super excited that they made a video for it. I also love the video; I think it's a great translation from the sound of the record into a visual.

That being said, here's Kid Cudi's Pursuit of Happiness.

Napoleon Bonaparte

2009-12-07T13:06:00.000-08:00

I was carousing (yes, I said 'carousing') my regular blogs & found this post by Henry Myers with some quotes from the famous (or infamous, depending on your view) Napoleon Bonaparte & decided to post some of my favorites.

- All religions have been made by men.

- Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts; it all depends on the principles which direct them.

- History is a set of lies agreed upon.

- I can no longer obey; I have tasted command, and cannot give it up (of course my hard-headed, egotistical ass loved this one)

- Impossible is a word to be found in the dictionary of fools.

- Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

- Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.

- Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.

- The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.

- The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.

- There is no such thing as accident; just fate misnamed.

- Adversity is the midwife of genius.

- I start out believing the worst.

- Better to have a known enemy than a forced ally.

Invented Sex

2009-12-06T21:53:00.000-08:00

I know this video has been out for a while now, & I'm kinda late, but I saw this on Youtube and just about died laughing.

I find it hilarious that they actually needed to put a disclaimer before you can actually watch the video. But, in retrospect, I see why it's necessary. Because seriously, I'm not into that whole 'obsessive fan' thing, but Trey Songz could get it any day of the week because 1. He's freaking gorgeous (Yes, I said gorgeous) and 2. He's a sweetheart 3. Have you seen him topless? 'Nuff said.

And for those who haven't seen it, here's the video in all of its inappropriate glory. Enjoy

Hip-Hop

2009-11-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

Good shit via Vanity Is Unfair

Have I mentioned how much I love this girl?

2009-11-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

"I'll leave my window open, cus I'm too tired at night to call your name

Just know I'm right here hopin', that you'll come in with the rain

I've watched you so long. Screamed your name. I don't know what else to say.

I could go back to every laugh. But I don't wanna go there anymore...."

In case you're not sure....

2009-11-12T20:01:00.001-08:00

My Hubby

2009-11-10T21:13:00.001-08:00

I was on Facebook, and my friend started a round table discussion of sorts. The topic? Relationships. He posed the question "Women: What makes a man hubby?". Here was my response.

you've just had a really long, hard day, and as you're about to jump in the shower, you call him. he's with his boys, but you ask if he can come over. he agrees, no questions, & says he'll be right over. you get out the shower, & before you go to answer the door, you just throw your hair up, put on your glasses & some sweats, go answer the door, & when your eyes meet both of you smile for reasons that you can't even explain. just thinking about them makes you smile. then, after you get the door, you both go up to your room, music or tv on, but no one's really paying attention, because you're both laid out on the bed, when sex is an option but not a necessity, and talking for hours and hours, until you fall asleep in each other's arms

when you can do all that with someone, without being self-conscious, without worrying about anything, that's hubby =]

My Life

2009-10-31T19:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have officially added Flickr on to the list of sites to kill time (i.e. during my bullshit writing class that teaches me everything that I already know. but I digress). So anyway, I was just searching random terms (mostly music-related, because as you know, that's like my life) and came up with these little bits of amazing-ness that I would feel bad not sharing.

These are Mandala bowls, made from records. How awesome is that?? I love the designs & colors, and especially how they don't even look like records.

When I grow up to be big & important, I want a room in my house that looks just like this, and I'll be able to sit just like this guy, on the floor, listening to whatever record I want, for hours at a time.

Keeping with the color theme, I saw this one & fell in love. I was originally looking for a picture of a soundboard in an interesting perspective, and this one jumped out at me. I love long exposure photography like this, where the different colors of light create designs in the final photograph.

I like doing these kinds of posts, where it's not so much of me rambling and more of experiencing firsthand what I wanna show you guys, so you can expect more of these to come.

Tumblr

2009-10-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

I was surfing through my usual blogs today when I realized, a shitload of them use Tumblr. So I decided, "Fuck it. I'll join. Not like I'm not on every other social network/blog site anyway". I'm not really sure why I joined, since

- everyone's Tumblr that I've been on has a buttload of pictures on it, & I haven't taken a new picture of anything in about 2 months

- I already have this one, so I'm not really sure why I need another blog

- I'm still not sure what Tumblr really is

But anyways, it's just a blank webpage right now, but I'll let you guys know once I get it up & running.

Damn you Mariah.

2009-10-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

In case you forgot, I'm in college, and midterms are this week. My school so graciously gave us 'reading days' last week, which is two days out of the week where all classes are cancelled and we study for our impending tests. Lucky me, however, only had one midterm, which I took before the reading days. The resulting four day weekend meant only one thing for me: I'd be homeward bound. My mom, who's a music buff like me, gave me Mrs. Carey-Cannon's new album, which I have been playing non-stop.

At this point, you're probably wondering why the hell I'm damning Mariah if I've been playing the record non-stop.

Here's my problem.

Lately, I've been sliding backwards on the slippery slope that is getting over my ex. But I've been coping. TIme heals all wounds, out of sight out of mind, right?

Wrong.

I'm listening to Mariah's album, & I get to 'Standing O' & 'Up Out My Face'. I swear, I was in love with these songs. Girl power, fuck the ex, all that jazz. Standing O is about an asshole ex that 'pounded on my heart' & deserves a standing ovation for outstanding trickery. Up Out My Face is the smartass' dream. Talking about 'If you see me walking by you, boy don't you even speak. Pretend you're on a sofa and I'm on a T.V.". Classic shit. Lines I hope to be able to use one day.

Needless to say, these two records were helping pick me up from my descent back down into self pity. So I thought I would be okay.

Wrong again.

I got to 'H.A.T.E.U.'. Which dragged me right back down into the darkness. It's a nice, slow record about how she can't wait to hate the guy who did her wrong, to make him go through the pain that she went through. And the worst part is, it's a really good record, and I don't wanna stop listening to it, even though it makes me sad, because it's so damn good.

Thanks Mariah. Thanks a lot. So much for feeling happy.

But, now that all that's been said, I'm not really sure what the point of this blog is. Because right now, it feels like a venting session. I think, in part, it's because I want to verify that I'm not the only one that's ever gone through this. Because right now, I feel like the loneliest person on Earth, and I know that there a million other people out there at this very second who feel the same way that I do.

But I think that if just one person reads this and feels a little bit less alone, then it'll be worth it.

I hope.

Run Wisdom

2009-10-13T13:11:00.000-07:00

In case you don't know, I'm on Twitter. (Not as regularly as I'd like to be since school started, but still.) For those of you not familiar with it, Rev Run hits his followers everyday with daily wisdom, whether in the form of a quote, information, or otherwise. But anyway, I managed to catch his quote today, and I really liked it, so I thought I'd share.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds - Einstein

Word Vomit

2009-10-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

I'm too lazy to make any of these a legit post. So they're going to be compiled into a list, possibly to be made into a full length blog at a later date. Highly doubtful, but a girl can hope, can't I?

- My best essays go not to my writing class, but my Religion class. Go figure.

- I'm convinced that John Mayer and Taylor Swift have been chronicling my love life for the past two years, then looked at it and thought, 'Hey, you know what, this would make a great bunch of songs', and voila: Continuum and Fearless.

- Ignorant, close-minded people serve no purpose but to piss other people off. They contribute nothing positive to society. They should all be locked away in a box somewhere. Or have their vocal cords removed so I can't hear them.

- Whatever happened to New Jersey having 4 seasons? Is that now limited to old Boyz II Men albums?

- Rumor has it that Winter strong-armed Autumn last week. In audio from unreleased tapes, Winter can be heard saying to Autumn, 'Nah nigga, you ain't coming out this year. It's my time.'

- Demi Lovato is amazing and can out-sing anyone on the Disney roster, past or present.

- That being said, damn you Miley Cyrus for those catchy karaoke songs (for further reference, see 7 Things, Hoedown Throwdown and Party In the U.S.A.).

- I don't think I'll ever get sick of Mario Winans Hurt No More. Like seriously. It's one of those albums that'll always be relevant.

- As much as I dislike her for making every hoodrat think they're a Harajuku Barbie, I can't front, Nicki Minaj's hair is always on point. It kinda reminds me of Myammee.

- If you think cheerleading's not a sport, you're playing yourself. Seriously. Shit is hard. Can you hold someone your height and weight straight above your head? And did I mention you're only holding them up by one of their feet? Right.

- I'm glad Mariah's preggers. Maybe now she has to raise a child, she'll stop dressing like one.

- Speaking of preggo, anyone seen C. Milli lately? She looks like the mulatto Bristol Palin. I have to keep reminding myself that she's not 16 years old.

- If I know I'm right, I will fight you tooth and nail. Unless you're stupid. In which case I won't try to convince you of anything.

- I hate how every idiot with a guitar and a MacBook thinks they're a "musician". No. Not true. You've just found a way to express yourself and kill time. Like this blog. You're not John Mayer, and I'm not Perez Hilton.

- On that same cynical note, a camera and a $30 outfit from 10 Spot does not make you a model. Especially when you complete aforementioned outfit with Soda flats. (and if you have Soda flats in every color and think that qualifies your shoe game as 'tight', just kill yourself right now.)

- If you have swag flu, I hope you die from it.

- Dear Plies, you're the most country mainstream rapper out right now (aside from Gucci Mane), but congrats on dropping 67492357 real of the realest albums ever given to the real world. Quite an achievement.

- Only in college is it acceptable to ask someone, 'What's your name?', immediately followed with, 'Where do you live?'

- My Chinese name is Meng Yao. Just thought you'd like to know =]

Albert Pike

2009-10-04T19:28:00.001-07:00

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."

What have you been doing lately?

March 16, 1999

2009-10-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

You may be wondering what that date is. Is it my birthday? No, that's August 17. Is it my wedding anniversary? No, I've never been married.

That date, my dear readers, is the date that one of my favorite R&B albums of all time hit stores. What album is that, you ask?

100% Ginuwine

From the golden age of music, when people had cliques and each clique was good in its own right. (Think I'm lying? Remember Timbaland, Magoo, Missy, Ginuwine & Aaliyah? How 'bout So So Def? What about when every other song on the radio was from a Bad Boy artist? Right. & don't you dare mention Young Money right now; I might just smack you through the screen)

10 years later and I can still listen to this album straight through. How many albums have you bought recently that you'll still be bumping in 2019?

Don't worry, I'll wait.

In the meantime, I'll be listening to this. (even though So Anxious & Final Warning are missing. Best freaking songs on the damn record. Stupid imeem >=[ )

100% Ginuwine

Uh Oh

2009-09-30T16:34:00.000-07:00

I'm scared right now. Well, not scared so much as nervous. And anxious. Like, I'm shitting bricks right now. Here's what happened. It's 7:04. My phone starts ringing. A text message. I go to check it. Here is the proceeding conversation:

Him: Babe we need to talk.
[Right off the bat, I'm nervous. Guys don't usually say this unless something's wrong.]
Me: Ok. Do u wanna come over now?
Him: Na, gotta paper to write right now. I'm tellin u in advance dat im sorry cuz itz bad news
Me: [with a blank stare that turns into straight shock, awe & fear] Ok. Well I have practice from 8:30-10, so if you're done with your paper then I'll just go over there afterward.
[See how I played that off? Cool as a cucumber. It's not like I felt like my stomach felt outta my ass or that my heart had jumped to my throat; no, not at all]
Him: Ok
Me: [because I a. am a glutton for punishment b. just can't leave things alone, even for & c. I can't make it until 10 wondering what he wants to talk about] Are you apologizing b/c of something you did or something or something that you're gonna do?
Him: Gonna do.

I swear, I can barely think straight right now. It's a miracle I can even type. The only reason I can keep going is that it'll drive me crazy just thinking on the situation and thinking of scenarios whose outcomes just get worse and worse as time passes.

So. Let's start with the most obvious and most painful deduction. He's breaking up with me. We've been talking for a month. But when you're away at college, a month feels like forever. There's something about being homeless, save for a tiny shared room, that causes people to form immediate and strong bonds. But seriously, as I stand here [because I'm too worked up right now to sit; I'd just get right back up], I'm thinking about how much it's gonna hurt. Like seriously, you would've thought that he'd already broken up with me judging by how I'm acting. I'm seriously on the verge of tears. The Apple Jacks I was just eating are threatening to make an encore. I don't know what to do with myself. Facebook isn't even helping pass the time. I just wanna curl up into a ball until I can find out what's going on. But I can't. Because I have Cheer practice. How convenient.

I'm gonna get off here now, because I've gone past the point of emotional release and back into the realm of situational contemplation that I just left. I'll keep you guys posted with what's going on as I find it out.

Wish me luck =/

Daily B

2009-09-30T14:21:00.001-07:00

"Never regret something that once made you smile"

I'm not really sure where that comes from, but I liked it.

Spellcheck

2009-09-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

I'm such a music snob. And a grammar snob, too. So you can imagine how bad I am when it comes to quoting lyrics. Lately, I've been seeing quite a lot of lyrical errors that have been grinding my gears, and here is the culmination of my annoyance and frustration.

Disclaimer: What is bound to come next is something that will most likely offend/piss off some people, because I'm pretty sure I'll touch on something that you will take personally. Don't. It's not personal. It's just me expressing myself. If you don't like it, then you probably shouldn't even be reading this blog in the first place.

- For one, "They say they never really miss you til you dead or you gone, so on that note, I'm leaving after this song", does NOT need to be proceeded by '..............!!!!!'. If you know where the line is from, and who said it, then you already know the significance/weight of the line in the record. Exclamation points are not necessary. They only make you look like an ass.

- P13@$3 $t0p typ1nq 1ik3 th1$. It does not make you look cool. I find this especially irritating when on AIM, since it is prevalent in the away messages of 'ghetto' people. Or people with Sidekicks.

- While iM ohnn dHAa sUBjEctt, pLEAsz dONt tHypE liKE dhiisSS EIthEr. I'm not really sure which is more annoying, this, or the previous one. You not only look illiterate, but cause people like me big problems when we have to spend an extra 5 minutes trying to figure out what you were trying to say. (Also, 'q' is not the same as 'g', and 'ii' is not a suitable replacement for 'y'.)

These are the only ones that I can think of from the top of my head, but I'm pretty sure something else will come up, in which case I'll be back to bitch about it.

My Role Model

2009-09-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

If you don't know this man, you should. This is Gregory House, aka my favoritest TV doctor ever in the history of life. He is also the grand-master asshole/smart ass/sarcastic dickhead that I hope to be when I get older. He is living proof that as long as you are amazing at what you do, you can get away with pretty much anything.

Anyways, the moral of this story is that the new season premiered last night.......

**SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT** It was a 2 hour premiere, but usually it's an hour every Monday night at 8 on FOX. **BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG POST**

........and it was freaking amazing. And I'm saying it was amazing because I love the show. But from a normal person's point of view, it was still really good. House finally got help for his Vicodin addiction, but was actually in a psychiatric ward, so he could deal with his trust/relationship issues as well as his drug ones.

And if you're still confused as to what this show's about, drag your butt to Best Buy, get Seasons 1-5 and come back when you're done watching.

Thank you, You're Welcome

2009-09-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

In case you've never been on it before, imeem.com is my favorite website for listening to full versions of music/albums without actually downloading it. You're gonna be seeing a lot of imeem players on this site because everyone, (including me) thinks that their musical is opinion is important/matters to the general public. They also like to think that people care about what they have to say (hahahahaha. yea freakin right). So I'll be posting songs that stand out to me (for whatever reason) and then adding a brief (or sometimes not so brief) commentary. Please bear with me and don't jump down my throat if you don't agree with me. I respect others' opinions, so feel free to leave comments whether they agree or disagree with me.
Just don't try to shove your musical ideals down my throat, because that will result in me shoving my foot up your ass.

Thanks. 'Tis all for now.

What do you believe in?

2009-09-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

For my college writing class, we have to write an essay for the This I Believe website. Ours are still in draft phase right now, but I'll post the link up when we finish with them.

Developing......

More 'Friends', More Problems

2009-09-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

Now I remember why I don't like talking to people about my personal problems.

Because they always run their damn mouth to everyfreakinbody and get you caught up in a whole bunch of she-said, he-said bullshit. Ugh. I rather be known as the standoff-ish bitch who keeps to herself than the bitch that said 'such & such about so & so'.

So this is how it must be. My personal life is now an off-limits to anyone who's not directly involved in it.

I.e. 99% of the people that I associate with.

New Schtuff

2009-09-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

For those of you that don't know, this is Jojo. Her breakout single 'Leave, Get Out' was released in 2004 and she's dropped 2 albums so far (Jojo and The High Road). You probably remember her most from her record 'Too Little, Too Late'. Her 3rd LP, All I Want Is Everything, is currently in the works, and last I heard, she's been trying to get released from her contract with Blackground Records.

But anyways. Enough history and on to the record. As far as I know, this is from sessions from her new album. Of course, I'm in love with it, otherwise I wouldn't be posting about it. I think what gets me most, though, is that I can related to it. Honestly, there are a lot of things that I'm willing to overlook production-wise if the lyrics speak to me (not that there's anything to overlook; everything in this record is pretty much on-point. I just thought I should mention it.).

So. Without further ado, here's Jojo's Keep Forgetting (To Forget About You)

Urban Pianist Association

2009-09-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

I love this. I'm such a sucker for a simple piano or guitar track. The mellow mood of this track gets me every time. You can't really get the full affect, since it's only a 30 second clip, but you get the 'gist of it, hopefully.

Freeze!!

2009-09-28T23:38:00.000-07:00

People!! (Prescription) Drugs are not the answer to the world's problems! So what if your dick doesn't work anymore? That's God's way of telling you that you had entirely too much fun in your 20's, now it's time to calm your horny ass down. Depressed? Get a pet. Talk to it. Write it down. It helps, I swear.

And if you still don't believe me, consider this. If Scott Mescudi had just taken some Cymbalta instead of turning to weed and rap, there would be no Kid Cudi today. And wouldn't that be a tragedy?

Yea, I'm One of Them

2009-09-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

My apologies. I know that I'm beyond late on this one. I downloaded this mixtape a few months ago, but I just never got around to listening to it.

Well. Fate had it in store for me today that I would be listening to a good amount of new music today. I had another incident regarding the train (I won't go into details; I'm still embarrassed about it. It was something a tourist would do. But anyways. I digress.), so I had plenty of time to contemplate the greater workings of the universe (code for putting my big iPod on shuffle & listening to whatever comes up).

It turns out that this was being majorly slept on in my iPod. I was pleasantly surprised, since I don't even really like rap that much.

I didn't get to listen to the whole thing, but I got about halfway through. So far, my favorite track was 'Cinnamon'. But I'll add a more detailed commentary once I listen to the whole thing through.

Wheelchair Drake

2009-09-28T23:20:00.000-07:00

I think this is the best mixtape that I've ever listened to. Like seriously. Production & arrangement-wise, it sounds like a studio album. But besides that fact, I could sit & listen to this straight through several times over and not get sick of it.

Like right now. I'm listening to it for the 564782306508 time like I've never heard it before.

(And yes, I called him Wheelchair Drake. I'm a Degrassi fan, so I was stuck on Aubrey Graham/Wheelchair Jimmy for a while. Wheelchair Drake is the compromise.)

Ear Crack

2009-09-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

I don't care if he whooped his girlfriend's ass. I don't care if he's wanted for murder in all 50 states & Puerto Rico. I still love Chris Brown as an artist & especially as a performer. Which is 99% of why I love this song.

The auto-tune is kind of annoying though (mostly on Bow Wow & especially Pleasure P's part, who I don't even think needs that much auto-tune to sound good). But I still love it because my favoritest male R&B singer (next to Trey Songz, of course) is on it.

(And is it just me, or does the intro sound shockingly similar to this cover of 'Sailing' that Avant did for his last album?)

Turn It Off

2009-09-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

"And the worst part is, before it gets any better, we're headed for a cliff. Then in the free fall, I will realize I'm better off when I hit the bottom"

This is how I feel/hope to feel about what once was. Or maybe this is where I am right now........

I'm not exactly sure.

Putting Back the Pieces

2009-09-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

I think I've figured myself out. Well, not my whole self. That's gonna take a while. But, as of this very second, I think I've figured out why I have relationship issues right now.

I'm so used to looking for a guy that I'm initially attracted to, then moving to the 'talking' phase, then from there it's yes or no on if I want to date them.

Did you see it? My problem? Look again. It's right there in black & white.

I've been so busy looking for someone else, I haven't taken the time to look at myself. And now that I finally am, I realize that I've been broken. Not irreparably, but I'm definitely not whole enough right now for anyone to just come along and play with.

I need a Jacob.

When I say Jacob, I don't literally mean a boy named Jacob. I mean, just like in New Moon (yes, the book that comes after Twilight. But I'm talking about the books, not the bound to be crap movies.), I was shattered by my Edward leaving me. And now I need a Jacob to help me find the pieces and put them back into something vaguely resembling the old me (but hopefully a little bit more durable, love-wise).

For those of you not familiar with Twilight & New Moon, I will try my best to explain without sounding like a stereotypical love-struck teenager (which I kinda still am, so please bear with me).

Bella was in love with Edward. Like, seriously, irrevocably, let's be together forever and ever (which has entirely different connotations in this context, since he's a vampire, and forever really is a possibility). But the whole time, Bella is thinking, "Oh my gosh, I love him, but there's no way that he could possibly love me, I'm just a boring old human, he's gorgeous and will probably want to be with another gorgeous vampire once I start aging like all humans are bound to", and Edward is thinking, "Oh my gosh, I love her, but I'm a vampire, my soul is eternally damned, I don't want this life for Bella, and my condition (being a vampire) is going to attract danger to her, and if she dies, I wouldn't know what to do with myself". (Actually, that's a lie, he does know what to do. He'd kill himself. But anyway; that little detail isn't important to this part of the story.) But I digress; I apologize.

Fast forward 8(ish) months. Gathering at Edward's (vampire-filled) house for Bella's birthday. Bella cuts her finger on wrapping paper & is nearly attacked by Edward's brother. Edward realizes that afore mentioned danger is too real, and later takes Bella into the forest and (very convincingly) lies and tells her that he doesn't love her anymore, and that he's leaving forever, because it's what's best for her. Bella is frozen and doesn't comprehend. She goes through a very brief period of denial, then slumps down to the forest floor where she lays in fetal position in the rain for hours on end. [Edward's leaving will be called 'The Incident' from here on out, for clarity's sake]

Fast forward a few months. Bella is about 2 steps short of being a vegetable. Her life consists of school, work, homework, repeat. No socializing. No fun. No smiling. No old Bella.

Enter Jacob. He was her kinda sorta friend before the incident, but has now become her life vest, keeping her from going under. When Edward left, she likened it to having a massive hole ripped from her that made it hard to breathe whenever his name was mentioned. But Jacob, being the perfect person that he is, never questions her about Edward, never pesters her or asks her what's wrong, never even mentions his name, because he just intuitively knows what's wrong with her, and how best to help her. He gives up all of his time to help make her feel better, even though he knows that all she can give him is her company (which, at that point in time, was not much). He is truly a supportive friend, but in ways that no female friend ever could, because he is her protector. He is so good at his job, he knows what hurts her the most without even asking. He even knows some things that about her that she doesn't even know.

The only problem with this is that, the chances of me finding a Jacob are about one in a bazillion. But I'm not afraid to look. And I don't mind waiting. Because really, if I can find someone like this, I really will hold on to them forever and ever.

The Case of the Ex

2009-09-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

I was doing good. It didn't hurt anymore to think of him. Or what it was. I'd even convinced myself that I didn't wanna be with him ever again. I thought he was old news, a chapter in my past to be re-visited when I was going through a rough patch in life, and then shut again. I thought I was done with him.

I was sorely mistaken.

Here I am, thinking innocent thoughts, when a memory of me & him came up. I was doing so good. It didn't even hurt, not even a little tiny pinch, to think about him and what it was & how it all went down.

And then it came. That terrible, nasty, horrible, pleasure ruining thought that made me realize that I'm still right where I started; "Damn, I really miss my [ex's name here]".

FUCK.

I know it seems like I'm overreacting. You're probably thinking, "So fucking what? Who cares if you miss him? That's your ex; you're going to miss him a little bit". But if you're thinking that, then you've missed the most important part of that thought. So, what was the most dangerous part of that sentence, you may ask?

It's that tiny little possessive pronoun, 'my'. Me referring to anyone or anything as 'my' means that I feel that I have some sort of claim over that person or thing. Which I clearly don't, since he dropped me like a pair of old Jordans.

All of this leads me to one conclusion.

I. Am. Not. Over. It.

Very unfortunate, since I have been subconsciously applauding myself for avoiding the pain that thoughts of him have caused me for a while now. And strangely enough, it still doesn't hurt.

Yet. But I know that the second he gets back from college in West Bumbafuck, USA, and I see him before me, in reality, not as my shitty ass memory, I will feel something. A very intense something.

Now, granted, I'm not sure if it's gonna be an angry, sad, happy, depressed, resentful, or jealous something, but it will be something and I know that I'm not gonna enjoy it.

Hopefully, it'll be one of those things where you try to put as much distance between yourself and the experience and/or person causing you pain for as long as possible, and by the time you address it/them again, it won't hurt as much (or at all, if you're lucky).

But lord knows I've never been that lucky. So I'll keep you guys posted as the saga unfolds.

Developing............

Fame Kills

2009-09-24T12:02:00.001-07:00

& guess who's gonna be there for the funeral =]

Eole 50

2009-09-20T19:34:00.001-07:00

Yes, I'm one of those girls who's been hurt in the past by her ex and is now super-guarded about who she lets in. I had trust issues before, but they're worse now. I could blame him, but I'll just take the wrap for this one. If you want me, you gotta deal with the baggage that I haven't quite figured out how to get rid of yet.

Whatthefreak

2009-09-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

I am a freshman in college. It is 11:11 on a Saturday night, my friends are throwing a party, and I am sitting in my dorm (alone, because my roommate went to the afore-mentioned party) doing homework. What the hell am I doing here????

Word to the wise

2009-09-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

If someone really wants to do something, they will do it. Period.

As much as you would like to think that you are Superman/woman and can keep them from doing it, they will still end up doing whatever the fuck they want to do. Making something taboo, forbidden, or off-limits will only make them want to do it more.

Take it from a teenage asshole who does things when people tell her not to simply out of spite.

Cudder

2009-09-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

I downloaded Kid Cudi's album about 2 weeks ago (I know. Shame on me. But I'm gonna go buy it as soon as I can find a record store or Target, I swear.) and still haven't listened to it yet. So that's what I'm doing now. I'll report back once I get through it in its entirety (which I'll warn you now, may take a while).

To whom it may concern

2009-09-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

So. Jay-Z releases 'D.O.A.' and everyone is suddenly up in arms against auto-tune as if they weren't just jamming to Ron Browz last week. Ok. Whatever. Do you. But if you're gonna be anti-auto-tune, please take note of the line in 'D.O.A.' that states, "...I don't be in the project hallway, talkin' bout how I be in the project all day. That sounds stupid to me..." and stop rapping about how much fun you have sitting on the stoop with your homies watching the chickens pass by.

Thanks.

Boys

2009-09-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Ugh. Not men. Not guys. BOYS.

The kind that don't know what they want and can't get their shit together.

The kind that take your change in relationship status on Facebook from 'Single' to 'Its Complicated' as a prompt to confess that they've been harboring a secret crush on you for some time now.

The kind that get upset when you tell them that you're already talking to someone.

The kind that beg and plead to get with you, but don't know how to act once they have you.

The kind that you would never take home to meet the parents.

The kind that breaks your heart several times over.

The kind that keeps you wanting more.

The kind that you can never say no to.

The kind that you're always nice to even though they really don't deserve it.

The kind that give 70 & expect 100 in return.

The kind that really aren't even worth your time.

The kind that you can't live with, but can't live without.